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His just not that in to you
Wed, 20 Jul 2011
Sorry but it's true!
Sure this could be She's just not that in to you also but for the purposes of the article I'm making this one just for the ladies sorry gents! (by all means though boys, read on if you please!)
So when I was a young and impressionable girl of just 18 and dating and crushing heavily on boys, my mum went and bought me THE book I think all girls should read - "his just not that in to you" (written by Greg Behrendt and Liz Tuccillo). I remember when she bought it home. I was seeing a guy who I really liked and I figured he liked me back as well he was sleeping with me wasn't he. She handed it to me and said "I think before you see anybody else you should read this book".
I was SO angry & upset with her (an unusal response maybe, ok sure, but it was a plausible response to me at the time). How DARE she think that these guys weren't in to me. What would she know? After some calming down and curious flicking through the pages I ended up reading the whole thing through cover to cover. The result? A whole new understanding of how foolish I'd been when making excuses for guys who would really, just weren't that in to me.
So where does this leave us after knowing the above? Well for one, if you haven't already, you really do need to go and read the book. Sure it can be a hard read if you relate to some or all of the examples of when the guy isn't in to you but it's also empowering (or it should be!) having the knowledge of when you should just cut your losses with someone you're sleeping with seeing because you realise better now when it's going nowhere! If you're not an avid reader however allow me to nut out for you in short some of the things the book taught me and you should remember when identifying if "his just not that in to you" & it's time to cut him off!!
1. He takes ages (AGES) to reply to your text messages or phone calls. If he likes you, you're guaranteed he'll have no trouble in replying to you quickly.
2. You have made plans for a hang out (date perhaps if it's early on) and he cancels on you to hang out with friends instead. If his in to you he'd be looking forward to it and would keep plans if he made them.
3. He only wants to catch up with you if its at your house or his, he never suggests going out places (like the movies, dinner, normal date activities!). Sorry girls but this means he likes the sex but isn't interested in taking you out or showing you off.
4. He doesn't seem to be becoming more attentive or caring towards you over time.
5. He doesn't share his thoughts or feelings with you.
6. You never get invited to share his social life with him or meet his friends.
I know that some, most or all of the above is hard to hear but as they say, the truth hurts. Don't view any of it as a negative though. If his just not that in to you then why waste your time and precious energy. There is someone out there who IS interested in you and ready to respect you and treat you how you deserve so next time a guy you're seeing is portraying any of the above characteristics, cut your losses, and continue your quest for someone who IS just that IN TO you.
Yours in Peace & love xx