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5 years & counting
Sun, 13 May 2012
A little personal advice if I may
Love is a crazy thing isn't it? It is also a fun, incredible, world defying thing whilst at the same time being a jealous, angry, confusing thing. I honestly know I have never experienced and doubt I ever will experience such a profound feeling as love. I think I am one of the lucky ones though as 5 years ago, I walked in to a party - sure I was drunk - and met someone who would become the one who fulfils all of the above. An amazing start to a love story? Hardly, but a heart stopping love? Absolutely. Although only 24 (his 28), I think a healthy 5 year relationship does give you some credentials when trying to give some relationship advice... and here is mine.
Argue but don't say mean things - keep your fights short, relevant and clean. No point in saying things you don't mean anyway and keeping tallys on who said what or didn't do that.
Forgive quickly - they love you, you love them, your arguments are petty in comparison to the love you share so why waste even a second holding on to a grudge or anger when you're only going to forgive them down the track anyway.
Support their dreams - this is the essence of someone, the thing that motivates them, excites them and ‘is' them. To not support their dreams is to say you don't believe in them and belief is at the core of every human being.
Respect them - respect them not just as a boyfriend/girlfriend, respect them as the whole individual they are and all the roles they fill - friend, brother, sister, colleague, and so on. This is important to understanding them.
Fall in love without loosing yourself - be consumed by all means and adore spending time with them but keep your own hobbies, friends and interests too. You're still an ‘I' just as much as an ‘us'
Laugh together - you don't need to have the same sense of humour to be able to laugh together. Do this daily. It makes for a fun relationship and one where you can laugh through the good and bad times (and we all know we go through both).
Talk less, listen more - you will both be surprised how much more gets communicated and how much more you open up after a long hard day instead of saying ‘I'm fine'.
Find each others love language and speak it - don't know what I'm talking about? For shame. This is my relationship golden rule. There are 5 love languages - Words of affirmation, quality time, receiving gifts, acts of service, physical touch. Figure out which one each of you are, do your research ... and start speaking in each others language.
Find your own rules & groove and go with it - everybody is different, which means every relationship is different. Find what works for you both and work on that not trying to emulate other people or relationships you think work.
So there you go. This is a snapshot of why I think after 5 years of a relationship I am falling more in love as each year goes on. Most importantly though, just love and have fun. We only have one life and it's yours to live so make it count with the right person.